Home doug's bio news contacts schedule links photos the recordings free downloads lyrics My Blog what others are saying..
so karl rove thinks obama is an elitist,eh?i guess it takes one to know one karl...you A-hole...karl rove also thinks oil speculation is NOT helping to drive up the market price and compares fucking oil to EGGS and CORN....hey karl you dickwad...eggs and corn are easily replenished...unlike oil,which even a dinosaur like you would take millions of years to become...we could eat something besides eggs or corn...rove says this shit with a straight face,too....wow...karl rove,you are a schmuck...welcome to fox news!!!
pregnancy pact in massachusetts,involving 17 girls under the age of 16...involving high fives and other strange behaviors...high school officials say,yes there was a pact ,mayor says no...i'm sure nancy grace will get to the bottom of it soon...
athletes in trouble and some of them are human....big brown,the horse,had a messed up shoe at the belmont stakes,mike tyson is crazy,but he knows it and sometimes regrets it,hulk and nick hogan are wrestling with fame,divorce and jail(in that order)and we're supposed to feel sorry for them?ok,i feel bad for the horse...and a little bad for tyson...but shitfire,say it ain't so,hulk(you phony blowhard)
denise richards...hmmmmm,can you hear my eyes rolling?
living lohan....hmmmm,can you hear my bile rising?
offshore oil...not enough there to bother with and by the time we get it,oil will be obsolete,anyway..big auto and the government have ignored the truth since the early 70's and now the american people are going to continue being fucked in the ass for gasoline and utilities for the forseeable future...
george carlin...he won't rest in peace,i think we all know that...
21 years ago to this very day,i fell in love....her name is liz...she was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen,and she has only grown more beautiful over time...she's my daughter...liz was a mellow baby....sweet natured and unless she was sick,she never fussed...we could take her out to eat and she would sit in her high chair,chowing down on crackers and drinking her bottle,happy just to be in on things...a young couple who were dining near us one day,leaned over and asked how we kept our baby so good....i smiled and said..."it's easy...a quarter valium in her milk bottle and she's mellow all day"....they had NO sense of humor and looked at me like i was a monster..i believe that was the first time liz and i shared a laugh at the expense of assholes....when liz was about 10 months old she crawled for the first time...towards a chuck berry album cover that was leaning against the base of the stereo...chuck berry,ray charles...that was our house cleaning music,and the stones("let it bleed" and "exile on main st." were blasted a lot too)bob dylan and john prine or dad's guitar for the quieter moments...i worked nights in those days so we spent a lot of time learning about each other(of course,at the time,i had no idea how much she was learning)when liz was 3,she told me dylan's song,"all i really wanna do","sounds like a carnival,daddy"...when she was 3 and a half she started day care(she told them if she ate brocolli she would puke,they made her try the brocolli...she puked,of course...when liz was 4,we stopped at the video store to return a movie...liz wanted to rent another movie and i told her we had no time for that today...liz looked me squarely in the eyes and said...."daddy,you're a FUCK!"...i had read the books and knew when kids say things like that you should ignore it...so i did...liz-"daddy,did you hear me?"..now i'm trying so hard not to laugh...the look on her face....she really wanted me to acknowledge her outrage at the injustice of it all...of course i explained that nice people don't say that word,and i didn't let her rent the movie,and i never heard her say "fuck" again until she was 16(that was great,too...it was in an ani difranco poem that she recited at a coffeehouse gig,her grandmother and mother were both there for that "f-bomb"...good times,good times)around this time,the four year old liz was convinced that black people were actually "raisin guys"(thanks,hardee's)and when i took her to see family in racine,she cheerfully shouted "RAISIN GUY" at EVERY black person we saw....she was little and cute and no one was offended...liz and i were the first father and daughter to attend the library's reading program at the library...it had been all moms before we stumbled in and by the end of the year,there were actually a lot of other dads bringing their kids...they'd look at me like..."so,YOU'RE the guy...."once more,liz and i were sharing a laugh...liz and i share the love of words,the love of music...so when she asked for a guitar,i wasn't surprised...i chuckled to myself,thinking how she would be hounding me to show her things,and sure enough,that first night she called me to her bedroom for help...."dad,this 'f' chord...how do i hold my finger?"i showed her and started saying something else,and the door slammed in my face...a week later,i stood by the closed door and listened,and by god,she was playing pretty good...and she NEVER asked me for another pointer....she has always been like that...just point the direction,she'll figure out how to get there,and she'll do it HER way...when liz made a friend,i liked the kid...her girlfriends were smart and her guy friends were...well.mostly smart,but,come on...are ANY teenage boys REALLY very smart?but they were nice kids,good kids,funny and ready to challenge authority...and when she brought a boy over to meet me(she was 15 and a half),i wasn't surprised to like him(i WANTED to hate him,but couldn't)and i guess i'm not surprised that they're getting married next year...so,in spite of the fact that i haven't aged a bit,this kid has become an adult,the girl became a woman,and the daughter has become my friend...i turned her on to bob dylan,woody guthrie,hunter s. thompson....she,in turn has turned ME on to ani difranco,bright eyes and panic at the disco(and the movie "boondock saints"!)i helped give her life...but she(along with her brother)has given MY life meaning...happy birthday liz,dad loves you!
at the end of the day,i'm sick of people saying "at the end of the day" instead of just saying "after all" or "in the end" or anything else that sounds less self important...because when all is said and done,"the end of the day" has had it's day...i'm sick of the media jumping all over jeremiah wright and giving paul hagee a free pass...hate mongering opreachers come in all colors and spread money on both sides...so if you're gonna jump all over wright,give equal time to hagee and his anti-catholic,gay bashing bullshit....and john mccain thinks hagee is a swell guy...i'm sick of laura ingraham...but hey,isn't everbody?i'm sick of sean hannity...smug,self righteous, wrong-headed,pandering dickwad...i'm sick of roger clemens/pete rose/barry bonds...sex,drugs and rock and roll,guys!i'm sick of john edwards...i envy him his lush,full head of hair...but i'm sick of him...i'm sick of the primary system...2 fucking years of running for president is insane...i'm sick of the war in iraq...i'm listening to generals and politicians give us facts and figures and opinions and conjecture,and none of these folks have a clue...the mistakes of viet nam are 50 years old,now and seem to be totally forgotteni'm sick of cars...hey folks,i know you love your cars and suv's...but here it is:all cars should be one model and the top speed should be 45 mph...special lane for trucks,and only licensed commercial haulers will drive them...no housewifes in huge pickup trucks or massive 10 passenger sport utes,no more dumbass gearheads tearing up the road when they're drunk...the free market and freedom of choice are all well and good...but we're just feeding the greed monsters that run big oil and keep us fighting,killing and dying in the deserts and mountains...i'm sick of record companies...stick a fork in your ass guys,you're done...in a few more years you will truly be extinct like the dinosaurs you have become, and needed even less than you are today...artists are able to take their stuff directly to people via the net,now...sites like myspace turn more people on to new music than the radio or television these days...DIY!!!!i'm sick of insurance companies AND greedhead doctors AND big pharmaceuticals....you're all in it together and none of you want reforms...keep squeezing every nickel you bastards...heads will roll,you'll see....i'm REALLY sick of politicians...i love politics but i hate the weinies in washington these days...the democratic congress is a joke...lost and confused and more worried about steroids in baseball and cheating in footballs,than they are in over 4,000 dead u.s. servicemen and bin laden still prancing around,making his videos and having a good laugh at gw bush's expense..."mission accomplished" my ass!i'm sick of surface beauty....all you pretty people with your trainers and your tanning and your spa treatments(i'm not talking about the occassional treat,i mean the hard core self-lovers)go ahead and think it matters...beauty really IS skin deep and i see a lot of ugly souls leaving the gym...i'm NOT sick of music,poetry,painting,sculpting,dance(ok,maybe a LITTLE sick of dance)sex or the majesty of a sunset over lake michigan.... bad juju,lizzie....wattch out for bats....